The Misuse of Heropedia (for fun and profit)
by norickayer
Summary: We all have things about our past we'd rather everyone forgot. Unfortunately, some people have an army of devoted nerds and a wiki page to worry about. (In which four Young Avengers discover Loki's most embarrassing secret- no, not that.)


_**Characters**__: Teddy, Billy, Kate, and America. Mentions of Loki and Son of Satan  
><em>_**Note**__: Marvel 616 makes less sense the further you go back. Info about Son of Satan comes from Marvel's wiki page for him._

There's an organic grinding noise coming from somewhere in the vicinity of the kitchen.

Teddy isn't sure what it is, but suspects that, with his luck, it's probably a demon or a time traveler or Loki. Just in case, he shifts into Hulkling as he creeps in through the door.

The floor is clean and empty. There's the refrigerator, the pantry, the table-

And Billy, sitting on top of the table, glaring at his laptop.

"Are you making that sound?" Teddy asks, relieved.

In response, Billy makes the sound.

"Ugh, stop, please," Teddy pleads. "Did your computer freeze while you were playing Dragon Age or something?"

"No." Billy's eyes are locked on the computer screen, and every few seconds his fingers erupt in typing. "It's HeroPedia."

"What, is someone trying to change Kate's alias to 'Lady Hawkeye' again?" Teddy sits down at the table, shrinking down to his usual size. The adrenaline that flooded his system minutes earlier slowly dissipating.

"Not that. And these days they mostly just change Clint's to 'Hawkguy'."

Billy remains engrossed in his computer, so Teddy leans over to see the screen.

"That's… a talk page?"

"For the article on Loki, yeah." Billy finally looks up to glance at Teddy. "There's a subsection for our Loki- the current Loki. Someone keeps changing the title from 'Young Loki' to 'Teen Loki' for some reason."

Teddy is only a casual user of HeroPedia, unlike Billy, who has editor privileges. "Wait how does anyone even know about our Loki? Ze's been pretty low-key since ze got reincarnated, hasn't ze?"

Billy leans back against his chair and looks thoughtful. "I didn't think about that. Huh. It must be one of David's friends then, from the battle in Central Park."

"Or it's David," Teddy suggests.

"Yeah, or that."

"Let me see."

Billy slides the laptop over to Teddy, who mostly stares at the screen without comprehension. Too many backslashes and sentence fragments. He clicks through to the actual article instead.

_-adopted brother of Thor, former prince of Asgard-_

_-long-standing criminal, responsible for millions of dollars in damages and thousands of deaths-_

_-known relatives include Thor (adopted brother), Odin (adopted Father), Freyja (Adopted Mother), Balder (adopted brother), Laufey (Father), Son of Satan (son), Hela (presumed daughter)-_

"Wait, _what_?" Teddy stares at the words in confusion. That's gotta be a joke, right? He clicks.

-_Son of Satan (son of infamous supervillain Loki Laufeyson, not to be confused with Daemon Hellstorm), was a supervillain active briefly in the 1950s in New York__[1]__. Little is known about the Son of Satan other than his villainous debut where he threatened to kill magazine publisher Whitney Hammond __[2]__ with a magically-created __[citation needed]__ tornado._

_He was last seen being propelled into the sky by an unknown metahuman woman __[3]_.-

"Holy shit. Holy shit. Billy-" Teddy flails a little bit and makes an awkward giggle-snort sound.

"Loki has kids," Billy says in awe and confusion, "Loki has weird evil kids with terrible taste in aliases."

"My question is, did Loki have a baby with Satan or is it that Loki _is_ Satan?" Teddy wonders. Both possibilities are terrible and hilarious. Loki had better stay away, because Teddy isn't likely to let zir live this down. This is enough material to mock zir for _weeks_. A month, possibly.

"This is too much. I have to tell Kate."

The café on Earth V91-27 makes Chai tea with apple juice, and it's much better than Kate expected it to be.

She blows across the surface of her drink and takes another sip, enjoying the unfamiliar combination of flavors.

Across the table, America leans forward and looks intently at her face. "So? Is it as good as I said?"

It is, but Kate doesn't really want to admit it after the complaints she pulled on the way. She stalls, glancing around the room and taking another sip. It's too hot, and she winces as it burns her tongue on the way down.

Her cellphone buzzes on the table. She lunges for it. Hoping, if not for a call to Assemble, than for a distraction from the way America's hair falls into her face, the way she drums her fingers on the table when she's impatient. The glint in her eyes that means she's flirting, and Kate hasn't decided yet whether to flirt back.

She unlocks her phone.

She squints, trying to figure out what she's seeing.

'_Billy, did you seriously take a photograph of your laptop screen_,' she thinks in fond exasperation.

He totally did.

She stares at her phone for a moment, trying to make the words on the screen make sense. She takes a screencap just before the timer hits 0, then passes her phone wordlessly to America.

_To see Billy's snapchat, see the link on my profile_.


End file.
